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Well, change is inevitable… June 23, 2008

Posted by espritnoir in I, Me and Myself....

“…except from a vending machine!”. And since, when I checked last night, I wasn’t one, I decided to make some changes.

One major visible change is the header. Spent hours trying to photoshop it, and I personally think, it’s kinda sums me up nicely. And it’s got a semi-hidden image too, if anybody looks closely at it. Presenting a little bit of me to the online world, for the very first time. That was a big decision for me. Almost as big as revealing my real name on Facebook. Yes, it’s there. But unless you already know me, it’s going to be tough to figure out who I am on facebook (in case you were trying to figure it out, that is!)

Well, this was a big decision, no jokes about it. I’ve been called paranoid by too many people, with regards to my self imposed guidelines for separating my online identity from my real life identity. Different names, different images, different personas. But the same me. Just different facets, for different people. The online identity was a side of me that I was always scared of revealing in front of most people. Even friends and family. As it so happened, it was mostly an identity that helped me question myself, the offline identity. EspritNoir was able to say and do things the ‘other’ me could never imagine. And the offline me helped me remain grounded, making sure EspritNoir never took off and went AWOL.

Somebody close to me has had a very tough time, adjusting to both these personas. I remember, the person once SMSd me hoping that things never change between us. And I remember laughing and thinking, “Change is inevitable”. And things changed dramatically. Then things changed again, and again, and then life changed. It convinced me of one thing : change is never good or bad. Change is just change. Resistance is futile. You either adapt or you don’t. Does that make me fatalistic. Maybe, but I don’t think so. Does that make me flexible. Yes. And that’s what makes me stand strong.

I hated change at one point of time in my life. I still do, in most things. But, if things hadn’t changed, say a couple of years ago, for me, I wouldn’t have been where I am in life today. And if things don’t change, I won’t be where I want to be tomorrow, or in a year’s time or in ten years time. At the same time, I remind myself that some things don’t change and hopefully never will. They remain a constant. Their intensity may change, or their or their measure. But their nature remains the same. And always will. It’s a skill, deciding what things remain constant, and what things change. And if you question yourself too much in this process, it leaves you with a feeling of insecurity, a nagging feeling of uneasiness gnawing away in your mind. And that makes life miserable. Security lies in knowing that some things are bound to change, and yet having faith that other things will not. It’s up to you to decide what things to have faith in.

What’s the point I’m trying to make? I don’t know. Have faith, and though shalt be happy and contented? Maybe. Be flexible and learn to adapt? I think so…But most importantly, all I’m trying to say is that Change is inevitable. Don’t spend your time trying to change things from changing or questioning the change. You run the risk of missing out on something extraordinary. Did that make any sense? I guess not. But, for once, in recent times, I don’t find me questioning myself over changes done on the blog or on Facebook. If I run the risk of mixing my offline and online identities, well, so be it. Maybe something extraordinary will come out of that too;)



1. Me. - June 25, 2008

I love the new look of the blog. Suits “espritnoir”.
Agree to most things you said above and yes, im learning to change with change too. W’ve seen change, and some very dramatic but im glad it makes you stronger.
If it doesnt break you, it will make you stronger. 🙂

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