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Cogito Ergo Sum… August 30, 2006

Posted by espritnoir in I, Me and Myself..., Random Thoughts....
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And i am back… 

It’s been a while, and I apologize to all those who have browsed on to my page, and found the same old stories here. Its been a crazy past two months, and after all those melancholy nights at Bandstand, probably the best as well. Well, suffice to say, life’s going really well, and I have decided to re-enter the blogosphere. So, readers beware, EspritNoir is back…

Well, what got me back on track was something that started me off on blogging in the first place. A blog I read regularly. Waiterrant.net. I read the article titled “Monday” and well, I was inspired to get off my ass, make some time out from what at least I think is a busy schedule, and write something, before I lost touch with it completely. I went back to the first post I ever wrote. I was so deeply into doing something in just the right manner, and impressive enough, that I almost never did it.  So was it with the blog change. I thought that so many people (and I mean all six of you;) were now reading my blog and telling me good stuff about myself, that I almost choked. What should I write about next? If I saw something interesting on the TV, or I heard a news report on the radio, I would think, would that make a good blog post? Should I blog about that? What if people don’t like what I write next? What if Poemer, Silverene, Ajeya, Satandit, and the other fellow bloggers who inspire me, suddenly stop commenting? Worse still, what if they stop reading my blog? And, those thoughts and, well, me being distracted with some other things in life, gave me what I thought was my first official “Writer’s Block”.

Then, last evening, after reading the article on waiterrant.net, something struck me. I think the reason why people are generous enough to read my blog regularly is because, it’s not a fancy author weaving yarns about life, success, fortunes and other great things. It’s a blog about a small individual, who is happy being lost in the world, and his thoughts and dreams, and his take on life in general. So, if I started pretending I was the next best selling author, and started concentrating on “the big stories”, and how to get people to think, feel & react in a particular way, instead of putting forward what I what I felt and thought, I would always think about how best to say it, rather than actually getting around to saying it! And that meant, I was going to have a problem my hands.

So, with that realization in place, I started typing again. Not knowing what would come out of it, and whether I would have a post at the end of it or not. I don’t know how many people will get this. But, at least I had come to terms with the truth.

I ain’t Orwell, I ain’t Wodehouse, hell, I ain’t even Archer or Brown. Just because I write a blog, doesn’t mean that I’m writer. I’m just somebody who enjoys hitting keys on a keyboard, and seeing those keystrokes convert to words, and words shaping into ideas before my very eyes. Everybody does it. So, I never should have had “Writers’ Block” in the first place. When I wasn’t writing, it wasn’t because of writer’s block. I was just being pompous and lazy. I threw pompous out of the door last night. Lazy I still am, but then I always wasJ  But, that’s no excuse not to think. And put to words, whatever mangled thoughts I have. 

Cogito, ergo sum. 

Damn right. EspritNoir is back!

 

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Comments»

1. Satandit - September 3, 2006

First of all WELCOME BACK !! Second, thanks for the sweet comment mentioning me…awwww.. that really touched me.
Next, you of all people, who inspired me to continue to blog when I was wondering why people were not responding…should not have wondered about the “what if” question…but since you did – I am going to be the first one to tell you — blog on. Since the time you wrote that one comment, I have decided – blogs arent meant to be interesting or about what other people perceive of it (of course they are meant to be all that,but not always) — blogs are more an expression of our own selves, of what we feel,what we thought of when we heard that ‘news report’, or the ‘radio’…its about us. And I will safely venture to say, that all of us who read your blog have been ‘greedily’ awaiting for your posts in this blogospheric (huh is that a word??) world of ours.

Dude, am glad your back…just write on…and blog on !!!!!

2. poemer - September 4, 2006

Anne Lamott is an incredible writer, and she does exactly what you discussed-writes about her small life in the context of bigger things. An aggregate, a sum, a product: these balances are arrived at by combining smaller entities to reach a bigger conclusion.

I think I take myself WAY too seriously when I write sometimes. Well, lately, at least. Thanks for your most recent entry. Enjoyed, as usual!

3. Ajeya - September 4, 2006

Great to have to you back Esprit! What I like about your writing is that its unpretentious. Honest. Genuine. I told you about in an earlier comment. At the end of the day, it’s not about the number of comments. It’s about, as Satandit said, simply expressing yourself. We don’t want Orwell or Archer at your blog. We come here to read Esprit. Cheers!


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