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Last Things Last… July 9, 2006

Posted by espritnoir in I, Me and Myself..., Random Thoughts....
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Recently I did something for the last time. Well, maybe for the last time, I don’t know as yet. Apparently, only time will tell. That’s something that’s been on the back of my mind for a while now. And may remain for a while, I can’t say. But, getting to what I wanted to talk about, the worst part is that when I did it, I didn’t know it was the last time I would be doing it. Or I would have wanted to stay in that moment for eternity, never letting it go. This morning, on the bus ride to work, in between typing SMSs to a friend, it got me thinking. How many times would we do things differently had we but known that the next time we do something, may be the last time we ever get to do it.

Our lives revolve around firsts. We spend so much time thinking about the first time we do things – the first steps of a baby, the first time you ride a bicycle, your first crush, your first kiss, your first true romance, your first job. It’s first everything. But nobody every bother to think about the last time we do things. The last time you said “I love you” to somebody special. The last time you held somebody close in your arms, just wanting to be stuck in that moment forever. The last time you took in the whiff of somebody’s just washed hair, and thought that was the most memorable scent in the world. The last time you told your parents you loved them. The last time you touched the feet of your grandparents, because you wanted to and not because you thought that would make them happy, and that would let you get away without calling them for ages again. The last time you thanked your friends for being there, every time you needed them, and even the times you thought you didn’t, and asked them not so nicely to get lost, but they still came around when you broke down. The last time you laughed like there was no tomorrow, and the last time you cried your broken heart out?

The problem with lasts, is that its almost always in retrospect. You’d be extremely lucky in life if you knew that something was going to happen the last time ever. But if you did know, how would you react if you knew what you are about to do, you may never get to do again. Would that knowledge affect your actions? Would you let go of that person in your arms as easily, or would you hold them back forever, never wanting to let go? Would you still maintain a dignified formal distance from your parents or would you tell them you love them for everything they’ve ever done for you. Would you tell your grandparents how much they mean to you? Will you still hold a grudge against your friends, for that misunderstanding so many years ago, or will you be man enough to call that somebody up and say hey, its over now, lets put all that hit behind us?

Go on, try changing your perspective from “Firsts” to “Lasts”. I did it for a moment this morning, and my perspectives changed on a lot of things. About things that mattered and how much they mattered. It may change the way you lead your life, help you shape a better tomorrow. In the words of the immortal Tyler Durden from Fight Club, “Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Raymond K. Hessle’s life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever had.” (You have to see the movie to understand this)

I don’t know whether what I did I will ever get to do again. Like I said, it may have been for the last time, but I don’t know. All I can do is hope for the best, and expect the worst. Only time will tell which of these comes true. I know one thing for certain. For all it was worth, it was worth all the while…

Written : July 8, 2006. 8:13am
Posted : You can check the timestamp!

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Comments»

1. silverine - July 20, 2006

Beautiful thoughts!

I havel left those days of crying over spilt milk, I count my blessings now and remember good things, good times and good people 🙂 Let us not forget the lessons from our mistakes and let us not dwell too much on our past errors but move ahead a much wiser and thankful individual for the experience 🙂

You write so well!!


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