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Shame April 19, 2006

Posted by espritnoir in I, Me and Myself....

I had a perfectly good day going for me today. Right until the moment somebody ruined it for me. Me!

On my way home, just a couple of hours back, I’m standing at a bus stand, wondering whether to catch the bus home, or hail a rickshaw. Not too many people around, its about 8:30 pm in the night, and its fairly dark around, except the lights of the cars, and cabs and busses, roaring about beside me. There is this dog, kinda like Santa’s Little Helper from the Simpsons, only slightly less pathetic looking. Scrawny, downcast, but minding his own business. He’s walking past the bus stand, looking at people, maybe hoping to catch something to eat, when straight out of nowhere, this jerk who’s standing at the stop, just lunges forward, and aims his foot straight at the dog! Not like this dogs threatening to bite his head off, or is hounding him for something, or anything. Luckily the guy completely mistimed his kick, and the dog managed to jump out of the way with a yelp of fear. But the guy, for no apparent reason, felt it okay to kick a dog like it didn’t matter. And the worst part was, I stood there maybe 5 meters away from him, and saw the whole thing, and although it PISSED me off, I just didn’t do anything. Immediately after that the guy jumped into a bus, and whizzed off as if nothing had happened. But in that moment, the least I could have done, was yelled out some obscenity after him, letting him know that kind of behaviour would not be tolerated. But the only reaction I could remember was, “Man, he’s twice my size, what if he turns on me?” And, ashamedly I must admit, I passed an opportunity to do something I thought would have been the right thing. On a blog that I read regularly, I had once read a story how the writer had stood up to somebody who had done exactly the same, and I thought, I’m sure I would do the same. I always thought given the opportunity, I would stand up for what I believed in, do the right thing. But, today my own fear betrayed me. It’s easy to say “Stand Up, and Fight!” when you’re the Goliath. But when you’re David, it’s difficult to sling the first shot.

Today, I became a David, who lost to a Goliath, ‘cause I was too damn concerned about my own safety to stand up against something not quite right.

Looking back, I remember a famous quote I had once read :

In a dog fight, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters; what matters is the size of the fight in the dog.

As he licks his wounds, and broken ego, this dog promises to fight back the next time. For himself, and for others.



1. Kusum Rohra - May 13, 2006

hhmm my bro is a animal lover, and more so a gaurdian of sorts for the stray dogs in our area, hez like given them names and all 🙂

Once an autorick shaw ran recklessly over a dog, I remember my teeny weeny brother jumping like a cat on that driver, we all had to drag him away.

2. Ajeya - May 13, 2006

it takes somethign to be honest first of all to yourself and then on your blog. first time i dropped by. great blog!

3. EspritNoir - May 13, 2006

@kusum : i love dogs too, and am friends with all dogs in my area. and although i’m mostly non confrontational, i always thought i had it in me to stand up against some things which i thought aren’t right. having said that, there are some things, as a person living in a city like Bombay, you learn to ignore early on. Maybe to preserve your own sanity. But, thats another story. But this cowardice on my part came as a surprise to me even, as i had not expected this reaction out of myself. Like they say, the true test of ones character is in times of adversity. I realised then lofty ideals, without the conviction to act out are useless. I intend to work on that. Thanks for dropping by. Hope you visit again.

@ajeya : thanks for your comment, man. what can i say, i just try to be. thats as close to being honest that one can get. if you list down your own negative points, it becomes that much more easier to fight them, coz then its always there in the back of your mind. Do drop in again.

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